[Dr. Wawa]

After reading cardiologist William Davis’ book about wheat as THE cause of coronary artery plaque deposition (“Wheat Belly”), I tended to tell every friend or acquaintance about this new and life-saving discovery. Occasionally medical patients would listen, but friends and family members would not. I concluded that most educated people, ironically, would rather die prematurely (literally) than change their diets. Ironically, when fat people try the Atkins diet (all protein and fats, no carbohydrates whatsoever), they experience no hunger and can lose 25 lbs. monthly if their are sufficiently overweight to begin with. Davis’s book includes a fairly detailed description of the dopamine-based addiction aspect of excess wheat-eating, as eating excessive wheat finally causes brain dopamine depletion–leading to more gobbling of carbohydrates to restore brain dopamine levels.

In my experience, fat people, even if they are suffering pain and other disturbances as a result of their food habits, do not believe that their obesity is a result of their diet. They believe God made them they way and no dietary habits of theirs are contributing to the obesity. As often happens in life, many are called but few are chosen.

P. S. the same dopamine depletion occurs in cell phone addicts, as they drain their brain dopamine stores by experiencing a little dopamine surge every time the phone rings. (There exists no treatment for dopamine depletion and it is identical to what stimulant addicts finally experience.) This no doubt contributes to the current high levels of ignorance and stupidity in these addicts.

[IMA-HelenT]

Agree, overeating is an addiction and most addicts never want to acknowledge they have an addiction, that being the first step to healing. I wonder how we help so that they start to want to change?

[braves54]

Hi Helen, great discussion started. I struggle with this with my own family members and friends. I have been told that as an example if I keep telling ‘have you taken your vitamin D?’ then it will ruin my relationship. It boggles my mind! asking or worrying about their health can have such consequences? As I see it, Gen Z would rather follow Jimmy Kimmel and Rachel Maddox for their medical advice rather than trust their own parents. Has anyone else been facing such challenges within their families? I feel helpless knowing what I know and not being able to guide them to the right resources because they are brainwashed and think anyone independent thinking is a conspiracy theorist. I get comments like you are not a doctor. Rfk Jr is not a Dr. The fact that I have a masters in biomedical engineering and have written research papers, can interpret and understand medical research better than most common people is ignored. I pray that someday they will open their eyes and listen and ask the right questions. As far as Diet and Obesity, have also heard from one of our friend that people who go to gym also die, so why waste time and energy there, eat drink and be merry. This same person who is severely obese, had recently two aneurysm stented. she suffers from several chronic issues, still her favorite food continues to be Pizza, and she thinks having a diet coke is the antidote, so all is fine. We live in a weird world. I feel like I am watching a slow train wreck happening all around me and I cannot do anything but watch, it is heart wrenching. I feel meditation and spiritual path is the only solution in this day and age. Anyone else feel this way, how do you address?

[IMA-HelenT]

@Braves54 I can feel your frustration. I have done some reading about navigating difficult conversations, and I agree we have never been more polarized about medical decisions. I always approach any conversation by letting people know that my non-negotiable is informed consent. I don’t mind what you choose to do, but you should want to know as much as you can so you make the best decision you can, I find that everyone agrees with this. So with this in mind, when someone is dogmatic in their point of view, I ask them to please share their research and reading as I am always curious and open to hearing another point of view. Most times, the answer is “I don’t have any to share, I just heard it from x” .

This shines a light on their lack of knowledge and may inspire them to read more. You could offer them something that’s easy to read or listen to, it may just get them interested in exploring the topic a little more. (You could ask the community about books etc they recommend)

One of the things we have seen with a few friends in the past few years is they are actively asking for our advice, we really watch our diet and exercise daily, and leading by example is paying off as a few friends have lost weight and feel so much better, they tell us openly that they were inspired by us.

I am not perfect, so often forget these rules and land up in an argument with someone that just digs their heels in and we both loose.

Anyway, just some tactics I use.

Thanks so much for being open and taking part in the discussions.

[WE FAR]

My daughter reached 350 pounds and I finally said something to her. I had to because her health was deteriorating and I just couldn’t stand it any longer. She went and had a procedure done where now her stomach is the size of a banana and she’s lost over 150 pounds and feels absolutely fantastic and all of her blood work is perfect. When she was 350 pounds her Bloodwork was an absolute mess and absolutely every area, especially diabetes. Yes, so I’d say yes if you are concerned, say something they either listen or they don’t.

[IMA-HelenT]

Well done @budy what a wonderful outcome for all of you. 🙂

[WE FAR]

I’m really happy for her and really relieved. The way she was going, she would have had severe health issues and I wasn’t about to let her do herself in with crap food. 🙂

[IMA-HelenT]

It’s always difficult watching someone you love hurting themselves.

[IMA-HelenT]

Found these helpful hints :

A Compassion-First Framework for Sensitive “Weight & Health” Conversations

1. Check your motive first

Ask yourself: Am I trying to help, or am I venting frustration / judgment?

If it’s genuine concern about their comfort, mobility, or lab numbers, you’re on firmer ground.

2. Get permission before giving advice

A simple, “Would you be open to talking about something I’ve noticed that might help your health?”

If they say no, respect that boundary. You’ve planted a seed; pushing usually backfires.

3. Lead with what you can see + what they’ve said

“You mentioned your knees hurt after walks. Sometimes carrying extra weight can worsen joint pain, would you like to hear what helped me?”

Ties the discussion to their complaint, not an abstract number on a scale.

4. Keep it about health, not looks or blame

Swap “overweight” for specific goals: better sleep, more energy, lowering blood pressure.

Acknowledge complexity: hormones, stress, finances, all influence eating and activity.

[vegandan]

I had this conversation over the years with my sister and it is getting easier to discuss. I posted in another thread last week about this issue in more detail. https://imahealth.org/forums/groups/public-forum/forum/discussion/no-time-to-research-really/

[IMA-HelenT]

Thanks, @vegandan … that was a great thread.